35. Did you cry at all during the game? If so, why?
When Emmeryn sacrificed her life for her kingdom. she… just fell down the cliff face first. I so wanted to kill that mad king! And It was really satisfying!
*Sigh* ….Super Mario Sunshine. Now hold on, I like the game. In fact, I go back to it at times. Its my first time trying to complete it. Let me take you years back in 2003 when I beat the game.
I had the game, had a good time, but then I thought, “Hey if I had to get Shadow Mario a few times to beat the game then what’s the point of collecting those shine sprites? You know the ones Mario was tasked in collecting?” I wondered would I get something cool if I collect them all? Like a secret character, hidden level, changing from Summer to Autumn I don’t know anything?!
I made it a personal goal during that year to collect every single shine sprite in Super Mario Sunshine. I dealt with it all. Dragging a stupid giant watermelon while doing my best to avoid anything that can make it burst like a fucking water balloon, trying to shoot those Bowser Jr. Balloons on a forsaken demonic roller coaster, that goddamn mini-game where Mario controls utter shit because of the level terrain and it just fucking sucks, this game has a huge fetish for red coins, that obstacle with the poison river where I had no clue how to cross it. Back then I didn’t know I had to use Fludd to move the lily pad to cross the water; I just tried to hover from the sidewalls to collect them which is fucking tiresome! And I couldn’t afford to mess up and I need Yoshi to get him to the Island with the warp pipe that leads you to the level, but he couldn’t freaking swim, so I had to take long tedious boat rides to get there. That warp pipe in the same level at the end you think it’ll take you back to the beginning of the level, but instead takes you back to the freaking hub world! This game…..
And then there are those…. damn blue coins. Remember them from Mario 64? Gives you 5 coins then, but here they’re currency. For what? Shine Sprites! Remember the building that has the Ricco Harbor level on it? you can exchange those blue coins for shine sprites, but I’m surprised the police didn’t arrest those jerk offs that sold them! You know the game tells me constantly how the shine sprites are essential on Isle Delfino, yet here’s a building that sells them like heroin. There’s 240 freaking blue coins in this game and there everywhere! In paint, water, fire, shoot some of the civilians will reward you one when you help them out. And some of those assholes will reward you with shine sprites when you help them out with crap!
You’re thinking what’s my reward for doing all this? What do I get for collecting all the shine sprites? Well you…. you….
You get jack shit! Here you go, you’re reward for doing all that hell work and my main reason for having such bitter memories of Super Mario Sunshine! I mean…. When I beat the other games I got something out of those difficult tasks. Sonic Adventure 2 Battle: 3-D Green Hill Zone stage, Super Mario Galaxy: play as Luigi, Sonic Colors: Those red rings were shit, but I still got Super Sonic for it. What’s the point of collect Shine sprites in this game? Bragging rights…. My heart sank really low when I first saw that ending image, cause it effectively told me I wasted my damn time. All the extra shine sprites and blue coins I collected, my whole year post journey meaningless…. In conclusion, I love the game, but never doing that 100% mission ever again!
"What possessed her to do a dangerous stunt like that?!"
"I’ve been hearing the same damn thing throughout my career. Mr. Wright, where’s your proof?! You’re honor, the defense is making a mockery of this trial.
I hope they can take that and shove it up where the sun don’t shine.”